Top Etiquette Questions from brides and grooms San Diego Wedding and Engagement Photographer
1. What are the general rules for addressing wedding invitations?
Spell out titles and degrees (“Doctor”), and always use “Mr. and Mrs.” for married couples. If a couple is unmarried but living together, or is married but uses different last names, put their names on separate lines in alphabetical order.
As for children, it is unnecessary to include their names on the outer envelope of a wedding invitation. Instead, list them on the inner envelope with their parents (“Mr. and Mrs. O’Brien and Peter”).
Finally, inner envelopes should be addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Markham” without first names or addresses. Close relatives can be addressed as “Aunt Sue” or “Grandmother Smith” on the inner envelope only. And if a single person is invited with an unspecified guest, add “and Guest” to the inner envelope to indicate that he or she may bring a date.
2. How do we let guests know, tactfully, that their children aren’t invited?
Inside the outer envelope of your wedding invitation be sure to include an inner envelope with only your invited guests’ names on it. You may also want to enclose a handwritten note to relatives and friends explaining that as much as you would love to invite their children, you simply cannot do so because of space or cost limitations. If you wish, mention that children will be most welcome to attend the wedding ceremony. It’s best to make certain, well before your wedding day, that all of your guests understand and will comply with your wishes.
3. What are the best man’s responsibilities?
The best man is the groom’s biggest source of support. Generally he’s the groom’s brother or best friend. In addition to staging the bachelor party, the best man helps coordinate the groomsmen’s formal-wear fitting, picks up the groom’s attire, confirms the honeymoon travel reservations, and orchestrates the rehearsal-party toasts.
On the day of the wedding, the best man makes sure the groom gets to the wedding ceremony site on time. He brings the bride’s ring, holds the officiates fee until after the ceremony, and signs the marriage license as the groom’s witness. Afterwards, he organizes the groomsmen for formal pictures, dances with the maid of honor, and makes the initial toast during the reception. Finally, he makes sure that the getaway car is ready and the couple’s luggage is inside. After the celebration, he sees that all rented formalwear is returned.
4. What are the maid of honor’s responsibilities?
Generally, the order of attendants is as follows: From the back of the church, your ushers proceed down the aisle first and in pairs. Next, your bridesmaids walk down the aisle. If there’s a junior bridesmaid, she will be next (two junior bridesmaids walk together), followed by the maid of honor or matron of honor. Behind them is the ring bearer, followed by the flower girl. Last but not least, of course, is bride and her father or other escort.
6. Who is expected to give a toast?
Traditionally, it’s the best man’s responsibility to propose the first toast to the bride and groom. The type of toast he gives is personal. It can be sweet and brief or a bit lengthier, amusing and anecdotal. The sentiment, however, should always be for your future happiness. After his speech, the best man raises his glass and invites other guests to do the same. That is typically followed by a speech from the Maid of Honor.
If there are other members of the wedding party who wish to give a toast, they may do so, provided the number of toasts is kept to a minimum and the time spent well-wishing is not too long . After the toast, bride and groom may then rise, express their gratitude, and toast each other.